Es Amor?

Nadien sabe nada mas que tu y yo..... Hoy doy Gracias por este mes y completar la primer meta el mez entero.

What I want..

Is not what I always get. Integrity and honesty... I have realized that those two things can be the hardest to try to achieve and to portray. Its little by little that every day I try a bit harder to try to work toward these. And it's not always easy. It's even harder when you have so many negative people In your life. Surrounding you and engulfing you with their thoughts.. I hope and pray that it's not too late. Not too late to change peoples perspective of me. If I try my hardest to portray the person I want to be..... It should all be ok right???Because I know I Would have done everything to show my true self. People can then just take it or leave it depending on their own personal choices. I would hope that they wouldn't want to lose me, but if they do then that's their choice. Sucks when you realize that not everyone you have in your life at one point in time will make it throughout the next years. But I guess that's how it goes.

Dear man on the moon, today I realized that I need to be a bit more Honest with myself. It helps me feel Better and does a lot more good for my sanity...... Thank you for the integrity in life and for allowing people to possess this quality.

Responsibility

Taking the attitude that life is what you make of it and choosing to make a difference. I can make a difference. And today I am thankful for my attitude. Which helps me keep going when it seems like I can't. Each new day is a new battle that I'm ready to face.

Today

As simple as it is.... I'm glad to have awesome friends in my life.. They can help me get through anything..

no one said it would be easy.

But no one ever said it would be this hard. Hurry up time. I miss us..

Today I am thankful for the bad times. Because then we never would have realized we could be this good again.

today i had a thought,

What if we had never met.. and it made me really sad..
thinking things in that perspective is really scary..
the way that your life would have gone a completely different way, because of alternate endings...
life is funny..it spins us, rewinds us and reminds us that nothing is ever constant..
some people leave and never come back, others leave and come back...
who knows who ever will stay?
makes me wonder if anyone would ever miss me, if anyone out there is afraid to lose me as part of their life..
a bit dramatic, but dont you ever stop and think how differently your life would be because of small events that we then took for granted?
like one of those "choose your alternate ending" books..
nothing is forever, nothing is ever certain.. things can change at the blink of an eye
i hope i make it to your ending..
heres to another chapter in your book.

Today i am grateful for life. For treating me the way it has, and helping me grow out of the young things in my past..

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

you are the things that you do, and I know someday we will be ok.
Dont rush time,
Dont rush fate,
Its up to us to wait now and enjoy our hard work.

thank you for all that you are doing ; )

It's raining again,

Why do some poeple feel the need to constantly dwell on the negaative? its like a constant fight for themselves and struggle not to find the good and happiness in their lives but to find the bad to complain about? its so tiring on both ends, but especially for the people that have to listen to it.. Why would you bother to put people down for your weaknesses? they just enjoy living life with pity? just because you feel bad and hate the world, does not mean that everyone else feels the same way. I love people that say that they only want the positive in their lives and want to keep the negativity there, when they spend half of their life complaining and the other half bitching.. do everyone else a favor and keep it to yourself.. try to present yourself in a way that you want others to see you as.. i mean we all have bad and negative shit going on, do you really have to let everyone know of your problems every day?
tip of the day: if you wake up and decide that you will have a good day and positive attitude, chances are that you are!! why would you spend your day dwelling on the bullshit???
not worth it if you ask me.
Today i am thankful for the positivity I try to have every day, hoenstly its not worth it to have a bad attitude. it gets too tiring..
I have better things to do anyway, but most importantly better things to feel :)

this song has been in my head all day.. thanks to evangelina on youtube..

honesty

is sometimes harder than running 10 miles, or having to complete 100 lounges in a row, or completing the plank for 2 minutes, or taking an organizational behavior final, or having to present your final thesis in front of your professor. but why? i think most of the time we avoid being honest and pretend that things dont bother us, for fear of expressing our opinions to the other, for the ultimate fear of hurting them. We sometimes aren't honest with others because we want to save them from the pain, from the hurt of the truth.. Ironically in the end we end up hurting them even more when we wanted to achieve the opposite... By hiding the truth and being dishonest, we build fake bridges, fake images that we know the other dont deserve..

but why is it so hard to be honest besides the fear of hurting the other? do we just try to pretend that we are perfect at all times and that nothing ever bothers us? im not perfect, youre not perfect.. but why do we try to be?

we are all broken. we will all be broken at one time and will contunie to hit parts of the road that will challenge and break us again....lets be honest with ourselves and each other,i know that nothing will ever be perfect, and that someone out there will always have it better or have more than me, and thats when I need to be able to stay honest with myself and you, to be able to have a chance to make it. It will make me and you feel better, if we are always honest, even if the honest truth hurts..

We owe it to each other right?

Today I am thankful for the honesty between two beings that share the same heart.

Does anyone ever know what kind of person you are?

Do we ever really know what kind of person we are? I mean after everything we end up wanting to be are we really that in the end? I would hope I am everything I try to be. I would hope that people would be able to see that in me. I would hope that they would be able to know what kind of person I try to be. Today I am thankful for everything that I am..

Our time

Today I am thankful for our time. Simple as that. Thank you!

Simply.

Thankful for you today. That is all ill ever need.

Desire.

The one thing that gets people into trouble.. from dipping into the wrong pot and standing too close to the flame.. today i go to thinking, how close is too close? what pushes people over the edge to do something that they know they shouldnt do, that can get them into trouble? some people would argue its the alcohol, others argue that they get in the moment, but honestly is that really enough to push you into something that you say you wouldnt do in a right state of mind? ... who knows.. i dont think we will ever know.

and i think sometimes its better that way.. i think im one of those people that wants to know everything. and ask for explanations for everything going on, but like everyone ive come to realize that sometimes its for the bet that some things we just wont know, or can never be unexplained.. if its in the past why do we keep giving it enough fire to rekindle those memories... if most of the time they are not good ones anyway?

because thats what keeps life more interesting, and for today as much as life has burned me in the ass with that flame, today I am thankful for the fire....

be careful what you wish for..

Sometimes you just want to grow up, and we spend our life rushing to get older and we keep wishing that we can speed up time. And then when you finally get it, your reality comes crashing down, and everything that you thought was real, really isnt.... in one sense im glad, that i didnt spend anymore effort maintaining relationships in my life that weren't worth it... but in the other sense its kind of sad and really heartbreaking that people are not what they have been made out to be.

I can say it a million times and i dont care if i offend anyone, i mean I tend to offend plenty of people anyway.. but I will be ok. I have found that middle ground in my life worth holding on to, and realized that Im way better off letting less people in, and lettting less people know about my life, ironic that its in a blog? hehehehehe.

I must not make any sense today, but thats fine. Today I am thankful for the small steps I take every day. Slow down for me life. Im trying to live in the moment :)

Smile

Because it pisses people off that you don't partake in their pity party. I may not be the best at what I do and may never be the greatest, but I'm happy to say that today I am strong enough to deal with things like an adult. I'm only going to prove you wrong. Unloved a positive attitude because that along with my hard work has gotten me where I am today. Thank you, for letting me be the bigger person.

i just want to be happy....

I am thankful for being able to hold on... its not the easiest thing i will ever have to do, but I know its for the best....

Thank You <3

Who says??

Today I am thankful for sleep. Because it can be one of the most wonderful things that you can do with someone else. Sleeping next to each other and sharing dreams...

this will for always remind me of you.

Thank you for holding on.

Today is going to be simple..

I am thankful for happy days and for that one special person in my life who can give me butterflies at any time of the day.....

P.S I am also thankful for Too Short as I am waiting in line right now... ;)

How long must I wait?

Happy thoughts. Its very amazing to see how the way you word something or rather as say something can change the mood of the room, person you are talking to or even yourself. I try to keep in mind always that people can often feed off of what I say, and I make a conscious effort to make it more pleasantly sounding then maybe i have a slight chance to influence their mood for the best.. Although this isn't always the case..as hard as we try sometimes its really hard to not show your mood or feelings when you speak. The power is always in the word. Today I am thankful for words, the abundance of beautiful words that makes things possible that help me travel through a world without having to have a visual, that helps me shape myself and the way people see me. Words that are beautiful enough to try to explain my thoughts and happiness and sometimes sadness. Sadness doesn't always have to be ugly....... After all it all depends on how we react to those words anyway. So please, speak a beautiful world, and maybe the world will speak beautifully back.

Pride

is a hard pill to swallow. Today I am thankful for honesty between two people and being able to put silly things behind and worry about the important stuff.

Good night my loves..

Time..

Time heals all. Today in short words I am thankful that time makes things better. Time teaches in a way that can never be measured. So let time do the talking, because in the end, everything is ok in due time.. :)

dont be a giver, or a sad old pusher.

In life we are always taught that if we give and receive and treat others as we would want to be treated it will be ok. That in the end people will stick around and be there for us just like we would want them to be. Truth is, it doesn't happen that way. People continue to let us down, and upset us, because we load them with our trust and expectations. Yet it seems harsh to go around living expecting the worst in everyone...Life is no fun dreaming in the negative... People play up roles in our life that many are just temporary. They are just transient beings that serve their purpose to only see each other for a bit and teach you a lesson. Well lesson learned. Did I make the mistake of letting you in too deep? but no matter what, I cant regret things that i loved doing.. Negative words can sting and remain, and little by little build the bridges that you build to them. Its like they delete a step, a step that leads people closer.. People can do things to us and say things to us, that can make us question why we even let them into our lives. And the only answer is because we let them..

Today i want to say that I am thankful for honesty. Honestly,next time you want to sit and criticize me, take a moment to look at yourself. And then maybe you will see that maybe the things that bother you about me, are things that you portray yourself.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Dr. Seuss

In the bright lights you'll see.

At least when I watch this, and hear the beat replay in my thoughts, I go back to a happy place. I remember not having to worry about things like this and its horrible when people disappoint you. The ones that I would stick around never did. I thought I brought enough to the table to be kept in someones life.... I'm not having an optimistic day. hopefully tomorrow will be better. Today I am thankful for tomorrow, because even though its only for a day,I get to start over.....

and its all because of you.

I dont ever think that i could put into words how much you mean to me. I can go on and on for days and im sure im going to repeat myself as the days go on, but that will be ok. I cant write as fast as my head is thinking so I'm going to go to sleep and dream of you. Dont worry about anything else.. as long as you have that one person that can make you feel alive thats all that matters..

Slow down you crazy child....

You're so ambitious for a juvenile, but if you're so smart tell why are you still so afraid? Wheres the fire where the hurry about? You better cool it out before you burn it out, you got so much to do but only so many hours in the day... But you know when the truth gets told, that you can get what you want or you can just get old...
Slow down you're doing fine..

Just remember you are doing fine.. Dream on just don't imagine everything will come true.. Today I am thankful for being able to disappear....Why do I spend life trying I hurry past it? Take the phone of the dial, turn of the lights, you realize the best things when you are alone..

I don't even know what to call it...

There's no way around it without sounding like a total bitch or conceited or even sounding like I think I'm better than anyone... Let me say right off the bat that that is not and was not my intention... But looking onto my social network(fancy word) I began to think... Do some people lose their common sense as they get older? Or maybe they just didn't have any to begin with? I know that just sounds horrible it does... But maybe I just have my mother and father to thank for raising me to be a realist and not sit and hope for someone else to make my fairytale life to come true.... This came upon as I think about the subject of babies... Babies. Lovely... When they aren't mine of course.. :) But seeing as in we are all in our mid twenties, it seems likes there's some huge rush to procreate just in the hopes of tying some sort of value to your life.. I mean these are the same people that have not had an education let alone a steady job... I mean am i the only lunatic out there who thinks its outrageous to bring a baby into this world without an education? Without a career? Without having goals? Without even a job? Am I the only one that knows accidents don't just happen??? Honestly, if you're having sex without protection... that's not an accident that's a choice and you're gonna bound up pregnant sooner rather than later. And this again goes back to education because I know maybe people decide to have babies before many of their goals have come to reality.. I have friends that have had babies, and still continue their education. They achieve a career and do a wonderful job not only as mothers but also as women working to better themselves armed with their careers and education... Is this when common sense comes in? Or is it that these women just had the fight left in them? Why is it that many just sit there and complain about how horrible their life is and their lack of money and yet they do nothing to better their situation?? It's really quite depressing to see women out there that I knew when I was young, women that were full of dreams and expectations and the fight to make this all happen.. These same women who Just sit there and complain about things not happening to them and not doing anything to make anything happen.. What happened?? Disk we grow up thinking that we were capable of anything? Didn't we grow up thinking that we were too young to ever give up? Didn't we grow up thinking knowing and wanting the best? What happens to all of that? And I know many can sit and argue and say that I wouldn't know, that kids change everything and decisions are made to be the best for them... I understand that. But wouldn't It make sense to fight for them, to achieve your dreams to want bigger things to rise up for in the End they would end up with a better life? When did we start relying so much on others to make our dreams happen? How can they be in charge of improving something that only we would know how to fulfill?? When did we stop dreaming?? When did you stop dreaming or in other words stop thinking that you deserve the best and that it is never too late to get it?? I guess it comes down to ambition...some people have it, some don't.. Those that have it might lose it and then theres that small group of us left with it who work with it and use it to help us grow.. Like Charles bukowski said, " there should be a place for those without ambition... Just so that they won't clog up the world for the rest of us..
Today I am thankful for my ambition, and for the few in my life that still have the heart of ambition growing in their souls.. May you grow into the person you wish to achieve.

Never thought that..

I wanted to talk about another topic that I am grateful for, but decided I should save that one for a day when I have the motivation to write a whole paper on it.. Today I want to say that I am grateful for the motivation that I have each day. The motivation that gets me up everyday and makes me accomplish things. The motivation that makes me strive to want to be Better than the People telling me I can't do it. The ones with their negativity, and opinions who think that their views change my choices. The ones who spend more time analyzing my life and the things wrong with it, when they themselves haven't looked closely at their own. And for that, I am thankful. Thank you.

And every day I'm hustling..

I am am thankful for having a job, because god knows in this hard economy I am lucky to even be employed. But I am happy to know that I have gained the skills needed to succeed that I will keep pushing to rise and achieve all of my hopes and dreams. Thank you coworkers for making it a lovely place to work, on which I can come in and love what I do and be happy to do so. Working to make a difference in many peoples lives.. That's the best reward in life. ..

And so it is..

I should have had this as the first one, but today I want to express that i am thankful for family. Family in the end of it all are the ones that will be there for you no matter how much you mess up, regardless of how little you have visited them or kept in touch with them. they will be judging of course, but only for your own good, but in the end they can provide the support and help that you might need. At the end of a horrible day, theres nothing better than coming home and eating a home cooked meal(no matter how old you get) and having your mom and your dad, sister and (unknowingly) brother make it all better. Thank you, for always being there for me.

And so it begins..

Another year. i have always been one to try to not bash the year that has past. I dont want to say that last year was horrible, that i shouldn't have done this or that, and that in 2012 I will do this big long list of things. Setting new years resolutions gets kind of old. When why would you wait to change something(sometimes the same somethings every year) on the first day of the year, when you can take initiative any day? we can look at any day as a new beginning, I mean it always is, isnt it? The sun sets, and rises again. We sleep and wake up and have the chance to start over again... might not be so easy to change things every day when we wake up, but if we can make a small effort every day doesn't that count? I think so. So again Im not going to say hey Elizabeth, this year you will lose 25 lb.. starting tomorrow no fast food and tons of exercise or this year I will get another job, and change my life and become a better person, because I totally sucked last year. Lets get real... Small steps and i can do anything. I dont regret doing anything, even the stupidest things in the world, because realize it or not I learn something from everything. If it makes me a little bit smarter than when in the future faced in the same situation i wont do it again, then thats enough for me. i come to this year as a person setting out to discover things about herself. I am on a mission like i am every day to become stronger than i was yesterday. i think people look at me and sometimes expect the worst, and of course they talk the worst., but in reality Im learning in due time,sometimes you just start to not give a FUCK about what people have to say about you. Its hard i know and im not saying i have the full capability to this as well as i would love to, but Im learning.. and now that sooner rather than later i WILL BE OK. There was a time this month when i thought that i wouldn't make it. I thought my life was over and couldn't believe reality(or rather didn't want to accept it) but then I woke up. And as simple as it sounds i realized that i hadnt died or fallen ill. The only thing wrong with me was that I lost a bit of hope in the world, and my large bubble of happiness was a bit broken. Thats when I got angry. i mean why would i allow anyone and everyone to decide what i feel? Why would i keep letting people shape my moods or shape my decisions with their opinions? Opinions, thats all they should be. Taken into consideration, but who are they to say what I need or want from my life? Im learning and realizing sadly as the world gets older, and I of course get older, theres less and less people that really belong in your life... and thats perfectly ok. I have the capability to make myself happpy and enjoy life, and can afford to delete people that arent worth my time or energy or worries... Peoples opinions and words hurt, yes but who are they to say what I can or cant do? Most of the time Im thankful enough to think that I know im stronger than they out there forming opinions of me. Maybe I had the balls to do something that they had been trying to do but will never do. maybe i had the courage to say something that they would never bother to say out loud, for fear of it being real. and thats ok...Im ready to play the bad guy or the good guy role that they have in their mind about me. I know what I am. I dont need them to confirm it.. So this today, instead of focusing on the bad and trying to steer away from negativity I propose myself a new challenge. Yes ironic that i begin on the first of the year, after all that hoopla i spoke about resolutions, but this is different...


i want to start a list or rather writings, be it a sentence or a paragraph each day of the year in which I will write at least one thing that i am happy and grateful for. i will list one positive thing in my life for that day, no matter how small it is..(this means that if i am having a bad day, maybe the only thing I will be grateful that day will be a chocolate chip cookie)..

So here it goes....
Today January 1,2012. I want to say that i am grateful to be a believer. To be a believer in love. Love that can consume you and create happiness in your life that not materialistic possession can ever create. I am happy to not have lost hope in it like I thought I did. Love that can create an image of something that can never be written nor spoken nor smelled nor touched. The feeling of euphoria that can fix anything. that can make anything possible. I am grateful that no matter what goes wrong in my life, no one can take away my belief in love. That love van be the best therapy anyone can do for their soul, and believing in it can make anything seem possible no matter how hard it may seem to obtain... so here I am ready for 2012 world.

I am Elizabeth and I believe in Love.