Come as you are

 there is nothing to fear here...

Oh lord

Please give me more motivation.. I really need it!

take care of me this time?

because i am falling faster again than i would like to admit.
take care of me this time and dont let me go.
because there will never be another chance.
take care of me please?
and it feels like im back where i used to be, even though i am afraid at how easy and great it feels again.
i cant believe that im feeling on clouds again, when
moments earlier you were the one that tore me down..
now im not saying im fully ok again,
and forgive me if you believe im fully recovered.
im not, i told you that would take time..
but a little part of me is becoming alive again, and i hope it keeps going.
take care of me this time please, for you will never see me again if my clouds start to fall.

Hmmm damn

And it's getting good.

He makes me feel

Like anything is possible again.let my guard down?..

Good things come to those who wait

Sometimes it might just take a little longer. And well it's very frustrating to have to wait for it.

And it was my heart on the line

You really fucked it up this time. Didnt you my dear?

Old wounds

Never seem to heal. Especially when the fresh scent of a new day stings like it was yesterday. Forgive to forget?

Happy

Do you ever feel lonely ?

If it was up to me

I would have figured you out. I would have told you not to do it. I would have figured out a way to keep you solely to me.i would have figured out a way to let you be only mine like I dreamed I was.. If it was up to me I would have a switch that would completely turn to hate.but I can't. If it was up to my head I would just completely hate you. But it's not up to my head. In matters like this my heart wins. I hope that everything you speak is true. I hope one day I'm able to see you without all the darkness that follows you now. I hope one day you love me as much as I did you. I hope one day I will be the only person in your world. The only one and no one else

And so it is.

I don't know what to do anymore. Someday I'll be ok

Exhausted beyond belief, but i have to keep going

im too close to quit. What would i think of myself for being a quitter? who cares what the world thinks, they wil figure out something to say anyway.

isnt it funny the joke time plays on you ?

sometimes, time is my own worst enemy. other times its the best. its the only thing that faster than a bandaid, to place over my currently over dramatic heart. time hates me. it makes me go back and forth in my dreams, it lets me dream of what i used to be, and have nightmares of the times i try to forget. time is smart. it lets me forget the easy happy times, yet time after time the bad things dont go away. it seems that everytime you relive a story you remember one little detail that you might have missed the first time.. an accident? a chance meeting? something you forgot? a favor? time.. 

if only i had a time machine, would i really not change anything?

i would go back and make myself a little smarter, leave little details and tips of the things that were never going to come true, that way i wouldnt have cried as much..

but then again, would i be the person i am today? 

who knows.

time only knows my secrets. time knows the answers as well.

time makes me better, but time also hurts me..

and even when you think you left something in the past,

it can come back and haunt you, just as painfully as you did the first time.

oh i was innocent.

back in time, innnocent little stupid me.

slow down girl..

thats what i would have said.

slow down girl, for your life

is going to be tragic no matter what you do.

not everything that glitters, is gold.

When everything seems to be going wrong..

You kind of forget to be thankful for certain things. It feels like a sin to be thankful for those things that once made you happy, when your whole world is upside down..
But isnt life just a constant hill? i mean imagine if it was always flat.. no ups or downs? we were just always at the same place in time, no extreme happiness or sadness? how fun would that be?
i dont think it would be at all..
i think this is what keeps me wanting more..
i dont know if its been the slight stretch of events that have happened to me, but somehow i feel like im not doing all that im meant to be doing.. like im meant to be doing more, exploring what i dream of and not just of what i currently do..
oh life is fucken complicated.
what to do next?

What's your secret she said?

How are you ok when everything around you falls apart? How do you look so flawless?

It's in the makeup.

But it's in my heart as well she said.
I will forever be the eternal optimist.

we had magic.

 "we had magic.. and this is tragic, you couldnt keep your hands to yourself.
i feel like my world has been infected. and somehow you left me neglected.
we found our lives have been changed.
babe, you lost me..
 and we tried,
oh how we cried.
we lost ourselves.
the love has died.
and though we tried.
you cant deny.
were left as shells.
we lost the fight.
 and we had magic.
and this is tragic,
you couldnt keep your hands to yourself.
i feel like my world has been infected.
and somehow you left me neglected.
we found our lives have been changed.
babe you lost me.

 i know you're sorry.
 but how can i ever trust you ever again?
 my world has been infected.
 somehow you left me neglected."

 -Christina Aguilera


 i need therapy to chase away the nightmares i see every day.

How do you even begin

To build again ?

Why can't I live in a fairy tale?

And Everything would last. Everything would be prefect. No one would ever be sad.

Because when real people in the real world fall down

They dust themselves off and get back up again.

it was harder today.

since i had the chance to feel your familiar presence yesterday.you feel so good. you feel so safe. and then i go to sleep and dream our downfall... why did you make this so hard? it would have been easier if you hadnt broken my heart..

I wish I really could leave

Somewhere else. And start fresh where I wouldn't know anyone or hear anyone. I think I realized that A lot of the times I'm doing things that I don't want to do anymore.. What am I meant to do? Where am I meant to be?
I miss knowing. Or at least thinking I knew. How easily do people fall in and out of your life. People that were never meant to be there in the first place... I miss us. Really I do.

Life is no do over

Or is it?

If life was as easy as I dreamed

I would never cry.

We love you for who you are

And that's it. Dont believe the haters

Can never get away

of how good you feel.. its the warmth of being close. and breathing the same time. how did we end up like this? when did it get so hard? we promised to never end up like this. i guess promises end up broken.

It's a constant roller coaster

I don't think I'll ever learn to be by myself.

Dear young lady,

Dear young lady, Yes you. You are still young. Although there are days that start and you feel like you don’t have anything in control at the age you are at, truth is you do. I know there are times when you get drunk and you feel sad, but little lady that happens when you are sober as well. And even though people tell you that you are happy when you are partying, sometimes you just aren’t. and it doesn’t matter if you are on your period or not. Even if you have had chocolate cake or not. Little lady you are the kind of soul that is very ecstatic about hope,dreams and new ideas, yes you with your daily coffee that with an open heart thinks every quote relates to your life. Why does it always sound like its for you? And no matter what songs you listen to or what videos you watch , you still get sad. And bless your soul for crying at that sad song. Yes I know you have a sad remix. Its ok. I wont let anyone know that it makes you feel good. For some reason you’d like to believe that if you keep sipping coffee and shop till your hearts content, That soon enough you will end up permanently happy. And yes sometimes that happens, especially if you wear a really cute outfit. But young lady we all know that you tend to overthink what you see, and feel what you over hear, and yet as much as you say they don’t bug you, the little voice in your head makes you wish everyone was nicer , or a bit more positive than they currently are. And that’s ok, because theres always going to be mean people and no matter how nice you are to them, they will always be mean. That’s ok, as far as they are concerned, you have it all. And sometimes you think you do, but most days you think you don’t. don’t worry noone will know that you still keep 75% of your brain filled with all the wedding ideas you can ever find on the internet, and no matter how many times you go back to Disneyland, you keep imagining that you will have a princess proposal in front of the castle. Don’t worry young lady, noone has to know. As far as everyone is concerned you are a stone cold woman, whos too independent to need anyone else. Nobody needs to know. So keep saying inappropriate things to make others think youre ok. Keep reading poetry and wishing someone would write a poem for you. Keep dreaming about shoes and weddings and happiness that you always do. No one can take that away from you as hard as they try. Keep singing your song. Don’t worry noone has to know that you are spending more time sleeping on weekends because you just want to dream.